Love yourself and heal yourself

First of all we need to understand an unstated fact or the universal law about love.

AND

Now let’s focus on the rationale to love ourselves.

NOW

If you keep on feeling your pimple is way too important, you will end up scratching it and spreading the bacteria leading to infection spread on the face but if you concentrate on the clean portion of the face, your focus will be on maintaining a clean face.

From ‘my boss will scold me for coming late’ you have to convert your thought to ‘my boss appreciates me’. From ‘I don’t get time for myself’ you need to move towards ‘I enjoy my life and make best of my time.’ An overweight person needs to appreciate the body for being able to do so many tasks which could otherwise be not done. This will first make you comfortable with your weight as it will bring in acceptance and then gradually move you into motion to reduce it. Whenever the bothering aspect begins to come, start thinking about the enchanting aspect. If you dislike being scolded, think of something you like when you are experiencing the brunt of being scolded. This enchanting point can be scenery, a fantasy, a showpiece, a music track, a video, a picture, a book etc. For example in a fight, if we keep on fighting, the other person will keep on responding but if we stop giving any reaction, the fight will stop altogether. The moment we shut, stop giving any response, the person will feel confused and will gradually leave you on your own because his attempts of hurting you will fail.

Let us suppose we want fruits and sow seeds in a garden. After caring for a few days, you can notice a sapling but it is impossible to find fruits after only a few days effort. So out of impatience what you can do with the sapling is destroying it and crushing it.

A person aiming for building a six pack might try to work out heavily on day one and end up with paining muscles but this is the body’s resistance willing to do all in a day and back to the initial state of rest. Muscles need to be exercised in synchronization.

If you treat yourself like a child, with tenderness all efforts will bear a result. There are three ego states in all of us i.e. the child ego state which is exploring and fun loving; the parent ego state which is nurturing and the adult ego state which decides the right or wrong and governs us. Nourish the child and achieve the results. People might not accept you in the beginning but with time they will be absolute acceptance. Add a little bit every day to your motives. Focus on positive and positive shall run after you.

If we accept negative statements, we build self-hatred and think bad about ourselves without even remembering who exactly said that and when. These statements convert to negative impacts such as anger, insufficiency, fearfulness and being filled with negativity. For instance when you are alone and unwell, where do you get the strength or the energy to help yourself? It is only your positive thoughts that ‘I can do’ which help you in such situations. It comes from will power which enables you to do almost everything in the world. It will actually build you; advance in life and you will appreciate and accept yourself. 

· In the blame game a lot of guilt is created for decisions which will seek punishment leading to pains or aches in the body.

·  Body is the follower of the soul.

· If you visualize don’t visualize a war with respect to anything but visualize anything positive that is nurturing and makes you feel good.

If you don’t appreciate your driving and call yourself a poor driver, you will lower your confidence and underestimate your talent which will one day make you crash your car. In order to build, maintain and nurture your confidence you need to meet and appreciate yourself at each step of your progress. 

Asking these questions will make you count all blessing you have around yourself. It will make you think about the need for efforts and the direction of efforts. Praising yourself increases deserving nature. 

 A lot of social problems such as suicides, depression, crimes etc. come into notice because a lot of people keep their thoughts, tensions and feelings engraved. Think of a school child unwilling to go to school, beaten up by parents compelling him to go to school. He gradually ends up hating school. What if he supports himself from day one? ‘I like going to school’; ‘I like school’ and discusses what he does not like about school. If he talks to his parents, he will gradually remove most of his problems. Think of the mindset of a rape victim seeking justice. It must be taking a respectable amount of confidence and belief in oneself to fight for justice. Can you imagine your condition to be worse than such a person’s condition? There is no problem bigger than not taking a stand for yourself because with that you deny your own good. You allow others to victimize you and harm you. The moment a bullied child stands for himself and counters all attacks, the negative energy around him begins to reduce and finally vanish. He converts the people who bully him into friends but if he does not, he remains a subject of entertainment.

 If you love and accept your negatives, you will lose your subconscious grip over them without much effort and it will become easier for you to change them. It can be a lover, health condition, financial situation, emotional condition etc.  You can’t blame a shirt for not looking good on you when you do not make efforts yourself to choose the right one.

 Think of a house with dust, webs, dirt, smudges and rodents all around. Will you ever like to live in it? Never! You need to clean the house of the soul regularly. Whether it is your mind, organs, head, hands, nails, hair or anything; all need maintenance. Past cannot harm the present and future if you remove harming thoughts about it from the mind.

Few minute’s temptation leads to a series and chains of problems. Eating dead, stale or burnt food not just puts burden on your organs but also affects the brain adversely. Rotten food leads to a rotting body; feeling diseased, reactions that your body cannot bear. Imagine a box, you keep filling it with anything and everything, what kind of appearance or reaction do you expect when it’s full?

 You must have heard about salespersons rehearsing their pitch or speakers rehearsing their speech to not only boost their confidence but to receive an inner voice that guides them.

Introversion Decoded

Introverts are simply people who avoid speaking unnecessarily and coming into limelight. They are neither depressed nor against the society but love to stay self-sufficient in their limited world full of close people. They maintain a cool, calm and focussed stance towards the entire world.

Limited social Expression: they neither like to be loud not party too much with people flowing from all directions. They dont like to be made to feel too special as they are self sufficient and like to be with their own limited circle. They dont like to blow trumpets of their success or failures.

Concentrating on limited people and friends: they dont just inculcate anyone to their lives and respect their right to privacy. They dont spend energy uselessly but like limited conversations and end up attracting a lot of extroverts. They give their best efforts in limited relations and dedicate tot he ones they love. They take time to mingle and choose their friends very consciously. They confine themselves to limited people and do all activities with them only. Their concentration is on quality than quantity.

Avoiding Congregations: They feel tired and irritated interacting with others and exchanging energies with people. Too much social presence seems to ask for efforts and struggle to make right impressions. Introverts can always do it it but never overdo it. They appreciate honesty and righteousness. They dont like interfarence in their personal issues.

More written expression:  introverts are more of thinkers, visionaries; believe in theories. They like more of writing in the form of diary entries, journals, poems, stories, plays etc.

Solitude lovers with capacity and manners: by knowing introverts you will realize that neither they are shy nor rude but limit their lives in and around a little, safe and secure shell. They are less manipulative, artificial while more concentrated towards solitude which provides them opportunity for comprehensive study, experimenting and thinking. Their life works in their brain and indulges in creativity. 

It is easy to shift from introversion to extroversion and vice-versa depending on one's choice.

Ideal Mindset while reaching Office

Some mornings, we wake up just like a school going child dreading to see his report card just because we know that there's a tough day ahead of us at office. With such an attitude each day, one-third of the day runs mundane, painful, stressful and tensed. Hence to change this mindset cum attitude regarding going to work requires focus on 'what office has to offer today?'

The good work life equation is:

Good work life = Organise + Learn + Accept + Interact + Respect + Esteem + Prepare

1. Arrange your cubicle according to your taste (Organise)

When you aim to spend eight hours of the day in a cubicle or a table, make it simply appealing to your mind. It is you who has to work there and have ownership of the space. Place simple accessories which please you such as small plants, pictures of family members, a small idol of the Lord, inspiring quotes etc. The place must suit your comfort & style in order to energize you to give your best.

2. Act like a student (Learn)

Just like pupil are rewarded at schools for any good actions such as perfect attendance, good grades etc, reward yourself for being punctual, doing something critical. This makes you feel important and cherished. Also, being punctual provides you with time for morning time for informal interaction with fellow employees, a quick morning prayer or a chance to review a presentation etc.

3. Think of challenges and solutions (Accept)

Work challenges us each day intellectually and creatively. Focus on the solutions to the challenges that appear in front of you rather than running away from them as this strengthens the brain muscles and makes you thrive for success. Make problem solving a joy generating process like solving a huge jigsaw puzzle. Think and evaluate what did you learn in the day to maintain an interest in the job. Even a mild argument with a colleague may teach you people skills. Maintain a record of your learnings in a diary or journal which can be reviewed on a bad day.

4. Social Circle Development (Interact)

With time you tend to develop friends at workplace and interact with a lot of people. Never underestimate the power of social interactions as it can not just solve problems but bring valuable advice. Taking notice of people's nature, you can give and take help and engage in social activities formally as well as informally.

5. Financial support gained (Respect)

A job not only helps you to bear financial responsibility of your family but also obligations such as electricity, power, water, mobile bills, rent, EMI's, loan repayments and recreation. It enables the ability to afford products, vacations and fulfill dreams also.

6. Builds respect (Esteem)

A man without a job is treated like trash by the society. A job not only builds a reputation at home and in society but also builds your self-respect. Your company values your skills, knowledge and talents else it would employ someone else. Each day at your job increases your practical experience and builds your knowledge and confidence, leading to the path of expertise. The job allows you to make mistakes which can be termed as blunders in your own business. It acts as a stepping stone in your career path.

7. Make preparations for next day (Prepare)

Decide, iron and prepare what you'd like to wear the following day to office. This will save your time in the morning and reduces frustration over unready clothes selected by you as well as in case you are running short of time. If you can prepare the lunch on the previous night, it will save morning hassles. It precisely saves time and energy which is valuable for you and keeps you fresh.

Remember: We live in a world where the work-place and subordinates/bosses aren't haunted-houses and ghosts respectively.

Loosing Weight: THE RIGHT WAY

I can understand your frustration over that bulge; those extra kilograms which keep you away from your favorite or lucky garment. You might have tried a long list of weight reduction methods and products but none seem to work, despite of regular and continued use. You spent humongous amounts of money at the slimming centres but nothing showed a prolonged/sustainable result. 

To be frank, in our pursuit for the perfect weight, we commit mistakes consciously or unconsciously like lack of self-confidence, inconsistency of efforts, having extravagant cheat meals, not adapting to physical exercise and walking and the major blunder of ignoring a balanced diet.

Hence, I list some of our mistakes and their solutions to correct our little mistakes and move towards our goals with fresh energy.

1. Adapting to short cuts and cheat meals: weight loss needs persistence, belief and confidence in oneself. We need to trust our efforts to achieve our desired weight along our commitment to reach a desired and achievable weight goal. No fairy Godmother comes any night to wave her magic wand to tuck your fat into your clothes. It is essentially important to understand, what is present in excessive amount in your body while what lies in deficit. We need to compensate and replace the excess by focussing on the areas of deficit. let's say you have excess fat with vitamin deficiency, you need to divert from fattening food to vitamin rich foods. Focus on health enhancing foods rather than fried or food full of calories. Cheat meals should be occasional not regular and must have a regulated volume of intake.
2. Ignoring Carbs: Carbohydrates are a part of the balanced diet and mustn't be completely abandoned as they are the main source of energy for the body. You can try brown rice, brown bread and cereals rich in fiber. Oat products may be given a try.
3. Substituting Fats for Calories: Watch out for products proclaiming for being fat free or low fat. Your desired product might be high on sugar content or other contents which may reduce fat although maintain calories. Products such as green tea on a filled stomach, black coffee without sugar can be given a try.
4. Skipping Meals to Resist Hunger: Avoiding meals puts unessential pressure on the body and increases the chances of over eating later in the day. Also prolonged fasting may leave you looking skinny with hanging skin which looks even more unappealing. Focus on baked products instead of fried, substitute cold drinks for more of water and coconut water which also helps reducing weight, making you feel refreshed and improving the skin's glow. Always eat good breakfast to keep you energetic throughout the day and make your dinner light as possible.
5. Ignoring calories from drinks: Chhach, lassi, soft drinks, canned juices, packaged drinks, soups, milk shakes, cold coffees contain a huge amount of calories, added sugar and preservatives which are harmful for your weight reduction goal. Focus on drinking water to flush out toxins from body as well as consume coconut water instead of sugary drinks.
6. Ignoring Meal Ingredients: Extra toppings, add ons and other similar little items simply add to the calories of the food being consumed, Products such as extra cheese, butter, mayonnaise, malai, nuts, sugar, chocolate etc act as hidden sources of saturated fat making your efforts go in vain. Avoid desserts, sweets and other similar items.

Finally, the Gurumantra for weight loss is to consume lesser amount of calories than the amount of calories burned by walking, dieting and your weight loss efforts and focus on a completely, absolutely and compulsorily balanced diet!

Making tough decisions made easier

Making tough decisions made easier

Tough decisions can make us feel tired and disturbed for long. You may just wonder what can be a solution; dealing with stress, fighting dilemma that challenges the rationality of the brain while making decisions. Hence one can find a planned route to the solution of the problem and making tough decisions by following the path of asking some questions to oneself.

One must understand the fact that one’s decisions can be connected with the people around him or from his family. Hence to make to the right decision one must understand the impact on other people and have other’s best interest taking into consideration one’s needs, wants and interests. One must make it a win-win situation instead of an all loose or all win situation. Ask Yourself ‘Who all are getting affected?’

One’s instincts, gut feeling, sixth sense, intuition connects with one’s inner self. If there is a conflict with what your heart says, certainly you are doing something wrong for this is the way nature directs you with the right direction. A heartfelt sign makes you take a right decision hence one must notice rationalism, laws, principles, people’s verdicts that matches your heart’s comfort. Ask Yourself ‘What is my heart’s inner voice?’

Look at the internal and external locus of control. Is there anything that you are afraid of? Are you afraid that someone might get angry over you; scared of failure or overachievement or anything else? Ask Yourself ‘What am I scared of?’

Define your goals to be clear to yourself. Knowing one’s inner self helps to have clarity as to what one wants, how much can he wait, is it just for present and near future or life-long or for a certain period of time. It will tell the intensity of the want or need. Ask Yourself ‘What is my motive behind this decision?’

It is prudent to have a futuristic view and long term impacts of the decision alternate you are thinking on. By thinking for future, you reduce the chances of regretting in the future. Try considering the implications of taking no action or decision. Consider a holistic view of the problem and consider thinking about the disadvantages and advantages of your decisions. Ask Yourself ‘Will I be regretful about not making a particular decision now?’

To solve complicated problems one can take a tough decision but how does it feel taking that decision, makes a you think of the self-impact. An inconsiderate decision may make you feel guilty or maybe self-hated. Don’t let your self-esteem drop completely while making any decision. Ask Yourself ‘How do I feel after making this decision?’

Remember one decision can lead to many events in future. It is important to consider the outcomes of your decisions. You may gain attention or appreciation for your tough decisions, but it can put a huge impact on your monetary status, relationships or career. One must try to be ready to cope up with the failures of the decisions. Ask Yourself ‘Can I face the consequences of the decision?’