29 realizations with life...

Recently I celebrated my 29th birth anniversary. Often, cursed and even blamed for over thinking, I live with firm belief in what I do. Some beliefs behave like rubber bands while some remain rigid. Here, I wish to quote some 29 realizations I had over past few years:

1. The time is always now. For the good; for the bad; to make or to break it's now. People use the word patience, but I feel it is subjective. Applies only to cure wounds, make some peace or works well with projects. Hanging things seem like a burden. Indecisiveness is choking. If you don't give time to your efforts to mend relations or work now you will end up repenting.

2. People join and leave at their convenience and I guess it's perfectly fine. One must never carry the guests from a party home with them. Our lives shouldn't be an avenue to temporary people to comment upon. There is an identifiable difference between the temporary and the fixed. Realize and witness your butterfly friends, enjoy their presence. Don't cultivate parasites!

3. Those who love or value you always make time for you. Somehow or the other they will reach out to you, now or then. There should be no reason to miss or complain. Nobody came with us to stay with us, so let people pass. In fact, I believe even reunions and getting back doesn't fill up the real gap. 

4. Family is the only constant in the long run called life, rest all are variables. Finances vary, friends vary, and jobs vary. However, priorities keep changing. Family is the roots no matter they give you sorrow or happiness, they give you values or ill-treatment. You can choose everything but not family.

5. You might be good to others in all situations but this doesn't guarantee that others will behave the same way.

6. We might lose touch with knowledge, but it never leaves us. Dust accumulates but new  beginnings are difficult due to restrain and resistance but life is what it is out of the comfort zone.

7. Lethargy is our biggest enemy. One really needs a healthy body and environment. The role of exercise and plants can never be undermined. They are necessary, relevant and refreshing. In fact I can say growing plants sowed as seeds is nature's exercise and moving muscles is ours.

8.  It really takes guts and the power to tolerate decibels of emotional pain during a break up or one sided love. However, the entire episode is self imposed, i.e. we impose love on our mental health by liking someone. Count their flaws and mistakes, you will get distanced automatically. Analyze their imperfections! It works wonders.

9. It is never wrong to talk to a psychologist. One must always, talk to someone because the fast pace of life has left us panting and craving for someone who can just listen. However, popping in pills to solve depression should be a well thought over decision. Our brain needs outlets, tears need shedding. Drinks, alcohol, weed; smoke is all abuse to the body not relief.

10. Most of us crave for attention, approvals and appreciation. We are all hidden artists. Even an investment banker knows that he will be valued for an advice that works well even in the presence of uncertainty. Models crave attention and designers crave appreciation. We all have hunger for these three at some or the other level.

11. We are taught what they want us to learn not what we want to learn. When we want to know answers to our questions or vague questions, research begins. Real learning is research not what is given to us, as they want. Systems will make us learn to be better calculators, better analysts or maybe better forecasters who will work for them under the rules laid by them.

12. Failures are never big enough to make us feel small. Failures happen and go. We must probably never consider that our efforts go in vain. I have had a failed talk show, a failed short movie, a book in fiction that failed during pilot work, failed designs on Photoshop, failed poems, failed write-ups. Not everything succeeds.

13. Lot of people attach to you when you are famous, rich or successful but the bunch really dries out when you reach the opposite side of the coin. People, my fingers fall short to count; will leave and estrange you when their motives are fulfilled or you are no more materially well off. Financial wellness or wealth is something that comes and goes. Nothing is permanent. People change with time and priorities are dynamic.

14. Not everyone has the same values as we do. Some just mimic to show that they have the same values but that's not the case. Value systems change and these changes can't and shouldn't be judged. Wrong things sometimes appear simpler, right ones appear tough.

15. It is simpler to judge people and divide them on the basis of religion, region and what not but it takes years of hard work to accept them as they are. There are sections such as LGBT and transgender craving for their rights and acceptance; but people will continue to feel and display shallowness against them. Wonder why your body or its functions should be a problem!

16. I have had a very dear friend no less than a brother with fall outs in between, gaps and silences. Sometimes, I miss the equation but what's the use of even cherishing the past. There are numerous people whom I once cherished but no longer share the equation. But, every time I come back with an ache and a burden where did I go wrong. I am scared to make efforts though I want to but the certain failure stops me. I would hate being passive or forgetful because I cannot act that way, that is not me.

17. Pollution isn't temporary, it is here to stay and increase. Forestation is the thing we need. We firmly need to shut down polluting enterprises and shift from fashionable, trendy chemical products to easily available natural substitutes.  Plastic, at personal level, needs to be done away with. If fashion and trend has to come up, it should be fashionable to quit plastics. Why is it difficult to carry your own bags? Rather than paying the companies for plastic bags, carry your own paper or jute. Our solution is in our hands

18. People may by-pass us in success, fame, money, achievements, and foreign trips and so on. There is frankly nothing to be jealous or feeling small about. We only need to take inspiration and keep ourselves motivated. When our goals are different, how can the achievements be same? When journeys, efforts, inputs and fate are different then outputs can’t be same.

19. Social media remotely contributes to productivity. It mostly creates clutter and mess. In fact it reduces efficiency as it puts us into the practice of garnering appreciation from others rather than enjoying actual lives. This is the prime reason the elder generation wants to avoid social media. Whatsapp is an unnecessary parasite. 

20. In the worst situations, we must think hopefully, drawing energy from the beautiful parts of the past and affirming that life will be beautiful. It makes survival and struggle easier. Losing on assets such as money, business, profits, respect, home might happen in life but one can always try and get back and what helps best is hope because is it the same powerful emotion that we invest in prayer, God, future and ourselves which keeps us alive.

21. Few people might/will not appreciate your work and efforts. Ignore them, we can’t please everyone and we shouldn't even try to because it is not meaningful. Life is not to please everyone. Sarcastic, sassy aunties and uncles were born to find flaws in your life but all they need to be asked is their life perfect? Our imperfections and decisions are our own; nobody has to do anything to do with them.

22. A class called home breakers exist that appear as sweet talkers who find flaws, plant confusions, misunderstanding and hatred. Watch out for them and evade them. The best way to do it is be on the face. Don't let people dial wrong numbers in your name and in other's names. Dispose the shit like you do from your body, before it stinks within.

23. People are already doing and trying their best. Broken people may seem contagious but repairing them though seems a task, makes them better humans and you a learner of human emotions. Being someone's listener, mentor or guide is being a savior. With the widest span of anxiety, stress and depression, we can become supports to people before they resort to addictions, drugs or attempt suicide.

24. Suicide is the worst kind of solution to any problem. In fact, acceptance of the problem is the first step. Then, adjustment and lastly what comes is finding the solution. Focus should be on the solution rather than the problem which is actually a maze in itself. When you invest your energy in finding solutions, solutions will quickly appear.

25. Electronics are the necessary evil that we have to coexist with. Earlier, humans were to be coexisted with. Technology is like a fast paced snake that you have to keep in your pocket or on your wrist otherwise you would be called  a dinosaur.

26. Mountains, jungles, rivers, seas, oceans don't need us or our garbage. They have allotted us place to live, who are we to do that to them? I dislike and shall continue hating conversion of moving beings into dead bodies and consumed. I hate the sight of someone's bone in another's hand. It seems like we are about to become Tantrikas with such stuff.

27. No amount of money can compensate love. Numerous examples from all industries are available where people earn heavily, become famous, establish celebrity status suffer from loneliness, fraud and what not. What is the use of the money that puts your happiness to danger?

28. Some people expire, leave us lamenting or missing them but what really needs to be done is learning from their mistakes and following the learning that they shared with you. Knowledge and experience is one's real ancestral property. 

29. Life has and will go on till it finds a meaning because it is not politics. Politics is a filthy dirty game of making people believe that you will invest your time and money (while the money is theirs') for their welfare, without living up to expectations. No life exists without a meaning. 

I don't know how much I am right or wrong. These are some things I just feel and experience.

Truth

What is truth and why are we scared to speak the truth?

Sometimes we wish to speak the truth but fear stops us. This fear may be due to the result, the impact or the feeling as to how others will feel. Merely talking about situations or events, people or their mistakes, confessions or blunders one commits is not truth. Truth is not just the mere representation of facts.

Truth is facing the fear to speak up despite of the awareness regarding consequences and its affect on our lives. Truth can't be spoken at a particular time, it should be a regular habit. Truth is a character of the soul and this character must always be maintained.

Friendship

Life is all about getting introduced to people, building relationships, experiencing behavior spending time and ultimately loosing them at some point in life or say even at its end. In simple words life's a journey from introduction to memories whether sweet or bitter. It includes meeting random people from which we select 'friends' and 'foes'. Personally, at some point in life i was an absolute introvert with few friends (that were countable) and few with whom i interacted. Now since I have started to talk about friends I wish to express my views of what i presumed about friendship when i was growing.

Friendships is the name of absolute state of trust and knowing another person where you can depend upon a person for almost everything and performing the same conduct from our side. It is respect for someone when you pull legs in private but if a third entity talks ill you are ready to break its teeth. It is what existed between Lord Krishna and Sudama {impossible in this age}. I had seen how my maternal uncle's friends always stayed united and what group cohesion meant. I had seen them stand by each other in odds and evens; helping in sorrows and dancing whole-heartedly in joys.

I myself made a lot of friends in life but then at some point of time i realized that maybe I wasn't worth it or maybe the definition wasn't getting fulfilled not that i expected too much but maybe i was getting cold or incomplete responses. In school life i remember my seniors always said that i was innocent and a quiet chap and in one of my parent teacher meetings even a class teacher told my parents that i didn't socialize. Though i opened myself to the world but in a very limited space; i met new people but the definition never got fulfilled. i felt there wasn't any harm in going out of my way to help out others but this was taken in a very negative sense by most of the people while some respected it. masses termed me a fool for it but i never bothered.

i always had a question in mind that who is a true friend and what is a true friend? i couldn't seek an answer and gave up on the idea. at some point Mr. R a friend of mine taught me a policy "I have no best friends except for one and thats is me" to which i ultimately agreed for the unending trial and resulting failure were difficult to digest. I still remember filling slam books till grade 6th with my biggest assets and best friends as my mom and nanaji as my nanaji pampered me so much that nobody could compete his excellence. slowly as i grew things changed for they assumed that i am grown enough to tackle myself. few years back i found a best friend in my Grandmother "Mrs. Shakuntala Jain -Mummyji" for she was an angel to whom i could spell out my whole world, my entire life without hiding anything. she was an ultimate well wisher and supporter who motivated the cook. the artist, the singer, the actor in me that every atom that constituted my body got recharged to show excellence. when i lost her i went nearly mad for she wasn't just a granny but an experienced friend, supported, well wisher, motivator, guide, philosopher and most importantly my best friend.

its very true that we realize the worth of certain people in life after loosing them and so did I. Fate is a phenomena that affects life and changes along with fate are inevitable. Suddenly i was rewarded with a definitional friend who was an acquaintance for three years who made efforts to get me out of the depression of loosing her. Good things are first left unnoticed i believe. his extra edged efforts succeeded as i made for others in my early childhood. i certainly believed that my prayers have been answered and was content.But things related to the present are directly or indirectly related to the future. today i know that there are a few people in this world for whom i can do almost everything and frankly don't expect anything from them. i no think the concept of building a strong wall around myself is a great activity as it tells me who is worth being a friend or has made an effort to have me as a friend.

in life everybody needs a dumping bag; a person who knows us and likes us as we are; whom we can entirely trust. this is what i think we all search somewhere or the other. this is the main pursuit that includes meeting failure and winning friends. i would like to end this thought by saying i'd be really thankful to God or the Almighty when i succeed in finding and maintaining the diamond called a FRIEND.

P.S. no offence to my friends

THE HEART COMPONENTS: Chamber of Secrets Opened

The heart, often referred as the emotional organ of the body is actually achamber of undiscovered secrets that has been forced to manage emotions apart from purifying and pumping blood over years. Do we notice that when someone is our well-wisher we term them pure-heart whereas someone with ill-wishes is called evil heart. The building called heart has the shape of a spade without a tail. Right now with you, I will explore the heart building right from its main gate.

I feel confusion at the very instance of opening this main gate due to this inexplicably delicate balance of cool and warm air that makes this place disturbingly comforting. There is a huge hall or say foyer with 2 gates on opposite sides. There is a red door on my right and a black one on the left, but isn’t the heart supposed to be totally red? So many questions are pacing in my mind.

Let me just see what is unusual here, human tendency we all know! I choose the black door and Oh my God! The room is full of more doors, drawers and gates. I am perplexed about these findings yet I choose to open the largest door searching for something interesting, big and valuable but on opening it, I see a huge round ball resembling the sun that has started to feast upon me as my expectations are broken. I am growing impatient and losing control but the ball is growing larger each moment! What can this be? Holy God, this is my anger! Now to get rid of this uncontrolled ball of heat I need peace, tranquility and patience. Where do I get it? God! Help me! I calm myself down after a lot of howling and cribbing. I chant God’s name keeping all the possible hope and faith. My calmness reduces my anxiety. Now I feel powerful to push it back and succeed in my attempt.

What a horrible beginning! I think my heart is playing mind games with me. Is it just the black part of the foyer or the entire heart is this venomous?

This time I cautiously open another door. Thus, comes out a ferocious uncontrolled dragon. Oh! What did I just set free? It turns and twists in the room restlessly violent and in an untamed style. It intends to destruct itself and others; doesn’t want to understand or see life with a different perspective. Luckily enough I know the two mantras to kill this mighty beast; I utter almost immediately ‘forgive me’ and ‘let go of me’. Almost immediately it shrinks and disappears gradually. This violent, impossible to conquer, fierce beast is called grudges! I still wonder what all resides in an area of me. What is next?

Let me be a little risk averse this moment, slowly I shift to the drawers and open the smallest one which appears harmless. Empty? Why and How? Slowly an suddenly a fume is arising in front of my eyes, I run to the corner of the room, my breath fast, rapid palpitations, restlessly panting and all the more scared as my vocal chords fail to support me in my effort to scream and shout. When the fume settles, a slimy, obnoxious and uglylizard appears and then it starts to grow at an exponential rate and I seem to shrink in front of it. I feel uneasy and my stomach grumbles. I hold a wall and plead “Oh! God what is this? Help me out!” with closed eyes. Nothing happens and then slowly I open my eyes to see nothing around me at all. Was it an imagination of something that does not exist? Am I just anticipating something dangerous? Am I just fearful? Had I kept faith, maybe it would have not scared me so much and vanished in no time. What a menace this exploration is? Fear scares us only till we close our eyes, but the moment we are open to reality fear disappears.

Next in the row of drawers, I hope there is something beautiful; but when I open another one, my teeth clench against each other; breathing is rapid; muscles become stiff as I desire something beautiful and end up finding something else. I wanted this drawer to contain something but it is asempty as the other one!  How is it possible that after so many efforts and facing danger there is nothing in the drawer to explore? I just hate these drawers! I feel like putting this horrendous room to fire.  Maybe I am expecting too much from myself; wanting things which necessarily do not have to exist. I just turn around to find a small door.

I enter another room and Ah! This seems promising. I am trying really hard to open this mysterious brown box but it has no locks or key. I have nothing to open it, no tools, no hammer nothing! I think I have to break this but on throwing it but nothing happen. With a finger nail I scrape it and it unveils layer after layer like a ball of wool. It’s endless, what is it? Ah! It’s my frustration that I have gathered due to unfulfilled desires, wants, wishes and expectations. Don’t I guard myself from these useless things? I feel so upset; there isn’t anything beautiful in my heart.

Let me go to the corridor and find more gates. On the left side I find a few doors and I choose the big one, larger than my height. With herculean effort I open the door but I immediately feel weak, something is sucking away my joy. I enter the room, which is dark and as I move deeper I am losing my energy, elation, happiness and hope. Nothing seems right or good. I finally find something, a black cape! I try on the cape but on wearing it I am morose, continuously crying, cribbing, complaining, hurt, disappointed with all of my life. Sadness and pessimism has enveloped me. I think I must run off from this place and leave this cape here itself. Such a relief! Life appears to be a boon.

I muster courage and open the next door which seems jammed but on entering the room I find happy and successful pictures of all the people I know; cousins, relatives, friends, uncles, aunts, batch-mates, classmates, neighbors, everyone except me. I feel an unbearable heat within. Why are they happy and not me? Where am I in this happy room? Why are they more successful? Why do they earn more than me? Why do they have perfect relations? Why does xyz look younger than me still richer than me at the same time? I so want to snatch it all from them. How dare they have everything? I will devastate them. I curse them, they will lose it all! Why can’t I have it? God, why did you write my fate like this? There is burning rage in me, I want to destruct their world of happiness and thus all their so called happiness will belong to only me. I faint and recover to find handcuffs of jealousy and ill-will around my wrists. How will I explore other rooms now?

Let them progress, I don’t care; let them smile and be happy, I am not bothered; this pain of being tied is inexplicable, I think. Suddenly the handcuffs disappear. This means I have to think, wish, pray and mean well for myself as well as others. I have to be content with what I have because whatever I deserve will come to me eventually. I have to believe in peace and contentment.

Finally I open the last gate in this corridor before I can head back to the main foyer that lead me to this dark black side; I find a smart phone ringing loudly. I pick it up, it stops ringing but there is not even a missed call notification, message or incoming call. How can it be? This mobile makes me anxious. Why is it here, ringing without a purpose? Who was the caller and what did he want to convey? How is it possible that the last room in this chamber has an open ended question, not a treasure?

This is ridiculous, neither my past experiences were good, nor this impresses me. Maybe I am the worst kind of human that exists. As I am about to move out I see a full length mirror and a stone. I am depressed to have found hopeless things in this discovery. I would like to finish myself than to explore the red side. At last, I see my image in the mirror. I look ugly, tired and pathetic. I lift the stone next to it and shatter the mirror into pieces. I am hopeless, devastated, judged, ignored, insecure, lonely, unsafe and unloved. I fall to my knees and bury them in my stomach. I cry restlessly and remember all the people I have done injustice to; people I have hurt; the guilt to harm myself also in the process.

The cool chamber has now lost all interest in me and has shown the ugliest side of me. I gather some energy and rush to the gate of the black chamber that proved me cold hearted with its coolness. I now know the filthy inhabitants of the black chamber. I muster a lot of courage to reach the common foyer that leads to the exit as well as the red chamber that emanated heat.

The cooler side was pathetic just imagine the warmer side! Black that absorbs no color has absorbed so much of negative. But the hotter side, the red side would be worse with flames and fire or demons ready to burn me out. My heart had more surface area of black than red but it is good as the red side would be even more hopeless. I have taken so many risks till now; I can’t risk leaving this exploration in the middle of it.

Hence, in my quest to explore the organ, I rush to the red door and slam it open. The walls, the floor are all red and warm. There is no heat as I expected. I am calmer and composed. I open the first door which has another door but the room is full of machines and gadgets. What are these here for? I run the first one which makes the second till the last one work consecutively and the last one brings me a sweet dish which tastes amazing. Oh! The first machine is hope and with hope all the machines start to run; cogwheels turn and I get the result in the form of sweetness. All I have to do is put in effort along hope as my input to my tasks.

With hope in my underarm, I walk to the only door and open it to find a semi flexible stick. I try walking with it, turning it, twisting it, bending it but it doesn’t break; my confidence. The very sight of it gives me radiance. I can do anything and achieve whatever I want. This room has nothing more to explore but another few gates to explore. I take this wonderful stick and choose one of the two doors and find all my friends sitting inside, joking, giggling, laughing, sharing stories and memories. One comes up and slowly pushes the stray strands of my hair in their right place. Another friend wipes all the sweat from my face while another offers water as he sees me tired. Now, I discover my parents who lovingly hug me and make me rest in their lap. Ah! I know what all this is true care!

After I meet everyone, I go to the other door and find a teddy bear which I used in my childhood when I used to sleep. So comforting, so secure, it made me feel! It feels as if it absorbs all the dangers and insecurities around me and feels always in company, always plural, never alone when scared. I hold the teddy, the stick and walk to the door where I enter with a smile.

On entering, everything disappears, the teddy, the stick, the memories, everything is gone. I am stark naked and this I know is detachment from every worldly thing or being. This feels so happy as compared to the black chambers. Happiness is the difference between the assumption of best and the worst, I realize.

Even in this naked state I still walk up to the last door and I open it with a bright smile. My soul is charged not with emotions but with positivism. The room is filled with lilies and all sorts of white flowers along white light. The fragrance is hypnotizing and all I feel is love and peace. Everything, as it exists, is perfect. Now there is neither ache nor pleasure; no sorrow or joy. I am complete, satisfied and at equilibrium. The heat I felt was nothing but the warmth that we all search in each other and within.

The golden thread...

From the dusk to dawn, every dark night,
in weave and knit feathers of golden threads,
dreams, desires, aspirations form my gold,
so that when the sunlight comes, I can push harder
to fly and reach at the top of the high sky...

Articles written for IBS India Blog

Please visit following links for my published articles:

http://blog.ibsindia.org/tows-matrix-for-effective-g-d-performance/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/why-i-chose-ibs-as-my-college-for-mba/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/bcg-matrix-of-friendships-during-mba/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/10-quickies-for-new-entrants-to-corporate/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/6-mantras-to-master-persuasion-skills/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/how-to-increase-performance-through-strategic-thinking/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/faqs-about-placement/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/bollywood-flicks-for-would-be-managers/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/prerequisites-of-an-excellent-marketing/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/healthy-regime-for-an-mba-student/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/people-around-mba-college/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/8-types-of-friends-you-find-mba-colleges/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/10-magical-ways-to-mastering-body-language/

http://blog.ibsindia.org/how-an-mba-course-makes-you-evolve/

FOUNDATION OF RELIGION

Foundation of Religion

We all hide from sorrows and search for happiness around us. We burn midnight oil to be happy yet

remain unsatisfied and the real reason for this is that we don’t know the route to happiness.  Some of us

consider sorrow as our fate or God’s decision but then what is the real way to eternal happiness?

Following Dharma is the true route to happiness. Dharma guides us from sorrows to happiness, from

filth to purity, from darkness to light and from death to Moksha. Hence, Dharma is not an impediment

but the way to true happiness. Dharma consists of three ingredients:

1. We are mere souls: we all are potential Gods; pure, divine and true. It is the nature of the body

to be born and achieve death but we are souls that neither can be created nor be destroyed.

The soul is beautiful, peaceful and beneficial.  If we understand this; we are hopeful, excited and

inspired to live our lives. To strengthen this faith, we must be indulged in introspection and

2. Link between us and God:if we see ourselves as a part of God, we will separate ourselves from

our body and if we consider others equal to us, we are truly literate. This true knowledge of

oneself and others provides us with peace, happiness and eternal beauty. Also this guides us

towards good or bad; right or wrong; duty or crime etc. To cultivate this knowledge one must be

linked to spiritual texts, people and work for self-improvement and enhancement.

3. Theory of deeds: Good deeds lead to good implications and good results and filthy deeds lead to

poor implications and consequences. All the pains and sorrows we undergo are the result of our

poor deeds. If you want truth, love and simplicity around you, be the change. One must be

friendly to everyone; kind to the ones undergoing suffering and learn from talented. Serving the

society is serving God hence one must dedicate their body, soul and mind for social welfare. One

must let go all ego and endearment to gain and cultivate true knowledge and purity. Live and let

live. Speak the truth despite of knowing it might be disastrous because the truth may be

devastating in short run but in long run it is beneficial. One must not become greedy towards

anything especially money because it never allows us to be satisfied with its presence. One must

eat well and avoid all that doesn’t grow naturally.

21 Simple Lessons from Mahabharata: Applicable Even Today!

21 Simple Lessons from Mahabharata: Applicable Even Today!

Mahabharata, Ved Vyas's work is regarded as an honorable epic of all times. It is an elixir that can be consumed infinitely by people of all ages; children, students, parents, teachers and even domestic help. Each chapter and character has its own depth and immense scope of application. It has the heights of injustice as well as the re-establishment of Dharma in real sense. Are you someone who trusts others blindly or someone who hand over your decision making power to someone else? Is your life, someone else's command or you fire from someone else's shoulder for your personal revenge? Do you live in the mist of your arrogance or think that God does everything and you can't do anything? Then this epic has much in store for you! Let us explore some real powerful learning that is applicable in the present world from the Mahabharata:

1.    Strengthen Self- Belief: We solely face all our problems in life. God is just a medium; who shows us the correct direction. God only guides us being a silent, omnipotent watcher. Our work is to take actions; because scientifically nobody can do anything on our behalf to add to our good deeds. It is easy to blame others for our failures and thus we must learn to take full charge of our lives and only then the Universe will extend its unending support to us. We are all infinitely capable and empowered to fulfill our purpose of life. There are no imperfections and shortcomings in us and thus we are here to create or achieve something which is a divine plan. Krishna had to make Parth believe that he had immense potential as well as only he could manage his own emotions.

2.    Avoid all blind trust: Don’t trust anyone blindly whether it is your family, friend, relatives, spouse or son. Blind trust creates opportunity for deceit and makes us vulnerable. If we transfer the onus of acting on our behalf to anyone; we would be responsible for their deeds owing to our trust. Dhritrashtra’s blind trust on his relative Shakuni as well as his son Duryodhan made him lose his 100 sons!

3.    Avoid overconfidence: confidence is a boon while overconfidence is bane because it makes us lose focus from priorities and actions while confidence builds and nurtures this confidence. When overconfidence seeps in, loss of focus follows; negative emotions enter the situation and makes us more prone to committing errors, mistakes and opening all avenues to failures. Karna’s overconfidence over his knowledge led to his doom.

4.    Take your own decisions: we live by our decisions. If we act on someone’s decisions we handle the control of our lives to them. Thus only we can save ourselves and there are no brownie points for blaming God over it. Acting on someone’s decisions, commands and orders requires courage but includes risk by providing others an opportunity not just to rule but to ruin our life. Bheeshm never took his own decisions and dedicated his life as a slave to the land of Hastinapur and let the King’s decisions guide his life; result immense guilt and pain!

5.    Change and adapt with time: water that doesn’t flow becomes polluted with time and gathers filth which makes it lose its tender properties. Change is the only inevitable fact of life and we must be open to changes. Resistance is never helpful; but a damaging mental pattern and be countered in order to move with changing time. No one likes backward or orthodox thinking; everyone is modern and willing to update with time. The earlier we adapt, the better it is. Bheeshm was the only constant during the entire story; his pledge and principles were constant and didn’t change with time; hence he harmed his family rather than adding to their growth.

6.    Avoid all endearment: there is a vast gap between love and endearment. When we think of someone’s welfare it is love but when it becomes only I will do their welfare, it becomes arrogance and endearment.  Love makes the other person grow and enhances the mind while endearment kills the immense potential someone has because it is based on dependence. All love is bliss and all endearment is futile. Dronacharya’s endearment for his son took away his Dharma; made him a sinner and ultimately lose his life.

7.     Mind your own business: it is certainly not our headache as to what goes on in whose life. If we focus on other’s lives; our lives will lose its purpose. We will stop our own progress and growth. Our business confines to what we can do for the benefit of others; without harming the environment and humanity. There is never a point in making someone’s and our life a living hell. A life aiming at other’s loss and doom is a life wasted. Shakuni’s revenge with the entire Kaurav family just because his sister Gandhari was married to a blind man; not only ruined his life but harmed the lives and fate of the entire family!

8.    Let go of revenge; learn to forgive: forgiving is the most painful and emotionally demanding verb in this world and asks for Herculean courage. Revenge is a total waste of energy with only place for negativity and not material or spiritual gain. Revenge makes us lose our peace, easiness and brings burning sensations called anger, hatred and resentment. Pandavas never lived in peace after facing the major injustices and thus had to declare war against Kauravas!

9.    Your child is your responsibility: children spend most time with their parents. Their value system, beliefs, etc. are inculcated by the parents. Parents have to play different roles right from guides, mentors, teachers, friends to a dumping bag where secrets can be dumped. Nobody can replace the beliefs and values imparted by parents. Remember that a child is like mud that needs to be used well to carve a strong character rather than a hollow character with a weak foundation. Dhritrashtra could have forced Duryodhana for changing his damaging and inhuman decisions rather than supporting him at all steps because he had the ultimate power not just being the father but the king!

10. Acceptance to all: dividing people on various parameters whether caste, color, religion, creed is not only a thing that should be buried and limited to the past but must be abandoned at all costs. One must be open to accepting God’s creatures in one and all forms. We all are made up of the same organs by the Almighty; then how can one be inferior of another depending on one’s family background, religion or profession. Such injustice brings an element of revolt in the people concerned which can be harmful for the humanity. Karna was always regarded and addressed as Soot Putra and never provided with equal opportunity thus he grieved until his death!

11. Avoid all Partiality: all people must recognize their habit of coining favorites which snatches the right to equality; suppressing untapped potential of remaining contenders or say resources. If you keep on supporting one person; the others will either rebel or continue to bear the ongoing justice with the brunt. Dronacharya asked Eklavya to give his thumb as fees for the observational learning Eklavya had gathered in order to keep Arjun ahead of him.

12. Let go the past: You can’t fly high when you are attached to small trees. Let go of the past; whether painful or joyous but just maintain memories. Living in the past is a heinous crime for neither we can change the past nor it has complete power on present or future. A human always wins when he lives in the moment. Pandavas converted their anger into oaths rather than letting the past go to reconstruct a better future.

13. Avoid being over-emotional: an overemotional person tends to understand, love and respect others but ignores himself. Such a person observes and attracts pain to his life which is unnecessary. Focus must always be on priorities rather than people, things, places or circumstances. Arjuna had to face emotional mentally perturbing challenges when he had to fight the battle at Kurukshetra.

14. Raise voice against injustice: whenever, wherever we notice injustice being done and we have the power to stop or do something about it; we must raise our voice or hands. It is inhuman to tolerate injustice being done to another person who has been created equally by the Supreme. Neither Bheeshm nor Dronacharya lifted their voice to stop the act of disrobing Draupadi despite of being respected elders who could command the next generation. They died with utmost guilt!

15. Accept and correct mistakes: mistakes convert to blunders when we don’t learn from them. Cultivate the honesty to accept mistakes and this will keep your conscience free of guilt. If we can commit mistakes then it is only we who can find a solution to correct it or else we aggravate it. Remember, one’s biggest sin becomes the reason for one’s ultimate downfall. Duryodhana never accepted his mistakes and blunders; hence was the reason behind the death of his 99 brothers and several respected men. Even Kunti didn’t accept Karna as her child till the crucial moment!

16. Choose words wisely: let words be chosen with great care and after utmost mental work. Words harm like pointed arrows thrown from a bow and can be devastating to the entire people we know. Words once spoken can never be called back and apology for harmful words adds to knots in relations. Irresponsible and reckless usage of words degrades not only one’s impression but also shows a hollow and weak character. Karna and Duryodhana never realized the power of the ill-words they spoke for Draupadi.

17. Rethink before acting: actions speak louder than words. Any act of harming others can also never be undone. Actions engrave in memory forever and generate a lot of attention from people. Before implementing plans rethink about its implications and understand how those implications may affect your life. Dushshasana disrobed Draupadi without a thought about what a disgraceful act he was doing and was punished brutally for it!

18. Life is a journey and not destination: to achieve, in the precious life God has allotted to us as humans; we must focus on struggling towards the purpose of our life. It takes immense time to identify and then achieve this purpose but this is what God had created us for. After every achievement there must be a thought ‘what next’ in order to keep going rather than facing stagnation at the current point. Pandavas had been exiled for 14 years yet they struggled for all those years to get back their kingdom and when they still weren’t given the same as promised; they fought the war and sacrificed the lives of precious family members.

19. Never express your charitable deeds: one’s charity is one’s spiritual deed. Any charity ends when you sing about it or flaunt it because charity is a method to detach or let go of something that has been accumulated by you and is precious to you. Being famous for your welfare motives or charity is dangerous as it would invite fake people around you as well as people who would like to take advantage of your heart’s tenderness. Charity is relevant till the point it’s secretive; but when it finds limelight, it transforms into show-off or a medium of public attention. Karna had to give away his armor in charity to his enemy because he was famous for his charitable deeds.

20. Arrogance is devastation, avoid it: we are all on this earth for the motive of learning and sharing knowledge as well as fulfilling the divine motive of the spirit. In the process of life, we gain a variety of things such as money, possessions, knowledge etc. People who are arrogant or full of pride, sub-consciously commit themselves to losing what they have accumulated. Arrogance means putting another person down to rise ourselves. On a deeper spiritual level, we need to rise not at the cost of others. Dhritrshtra was arrogant about having Bheeeshm, Dronacharya and a lot of other warriors to support his 100 sons in the war but lost all of them in the war of Kurukshetra.

21. Don't be overburdened by someone’s favors: favors must be valued to the extent that they don't convert into burden and harms one’s independence. Understand that a person doing a favor is investing in you and try to find the motive behind the same. If the favor is unsung and not reciprocated, its charity but if it is sung, it becomes transaction and a burden on the subject. One must not be captivated in the chains of undue dedication or devotion. It is intelligent to understand a person before asking for a favor. Karna devastated his life due to the burden of Duryodhana’s favors which were aimed at using him in his favor at the Kurukshetra.

The epic still holds relevance despite of the fact that the war was over years ago. It is for us to imbibe what this great story on politics, family feuds, religion, war and humanity teaches!

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